Welcome to street- poetry corner, I hope my rhymes can raise some cheer because I hold my readers dear. If you’ve had a busy day, relax and dream your cares away.
Big police fine
What do you get if you drink the wine, a night in jail and a big police fine. What do you get if you drink the beer, kicked out of the house and a thick left ear, she’s had enough mate you’ve done it this time, coming home at four in the morning with a big police fine.
What’s going on you need to grow up, your behaving as if your still a young pup. You bang on the door but she won’t answer, she’s treating you like a form of cancer, oh well you think she’ll eventually give in, but no she won’t you’ve done it this time, coming home at four in the morning with a big police fine.
Then she appears at the window and calls you a dick, pulls back her arm and throws half a house brick, which glances your head and knocks you over, how does it feel to be a wild rover? dazed and confused you get back on your feet, and shout at the open window I know your a cheat. Why do you think I came home at this time, drunk and upset with a big police fine. It’s that bloke from the butcher’s I know the one, he’s got ginger hair and a chin like a bum.
Can I take you to the flicks I’ll get you ice-cream and pick n mix, I’ll let you pick a scary movie, as long as it’s not too mental, or I’ll get scared and hide under the seats. Then you’ll call me a great big wussy for hiding from an art school pussy, who chops people up with a plastic machete, that he bought online for £4.20, because the film’s budgets so low they can’t afford props, which is why it’s one of this years massive flops!
Pass the remote love, in a minute love I’m finishing me brew, you know I love a cup of tea I drink it all the time. I have one in the morning and I think about my day. It’s like a form of meditation, I have a kind of dedication to drinking tea on any occasion, I like to savour it with a nice biscuit, so please don’t spoil my fun, in a minute I’ll be done.
My cousin’s getting married there’s gonna’ be a fight. Alcohol and ego’s don’t mix well on a wedding party night, it usually gets messy after a few beers, especially when old feuds arise that you haven’t thought about for years.
Some fool insults a bridesmaid, but our kid’s not having that, a crisp left hook and down he goes, with tears in his eyes and a broken nose. But oh no that’s not the end, the fool happens to be the bridegrooms friend. Didn’t you know he was my mate, he says as he hits him with a plate full of party snacks and wedding cake. Calm down he says to the groom, your friend over there is a complete buffoon, he said my wife looked like a pig so I had to give him a little dig.
Thank God that’s over, no more family wedding’s for another year, alright wedding party people let’s have a sausage roll and another beer!